It has been 7 mths since my darling Beryl pop out from my womb.. In this 7 months i feel that my life is beautiful with baby Beryl however ...things is not as perfect as it is..

怀胎十个月对每个人来说是件很伟的事。But to me i felt that i am being unappreciated
 at all..

Seeing my friends whom gave birth shortly before and after me enjoying the process of taking care of their babies and showered with tons of LOVE from their beloved. Somehow i felt i am short of something ..

As months pass by there is nothing that bring happiness back to me.. Those dating days, joking days, sweet toking days and concern and lovely days has seem to disappeared for good.

Updating my blogs with tears rolling down my cheek is a norm thing to me..
Looking at my darling Beryl sleeping beside me on her bed.. i felt that the world seem to be left with me and her..

Quarrels and argument is what we had nowsaday... How long will this last? Unbearable to let my darling Beryl lost any love.. i can only swallow my tears and  continue with life..

However i always find it unbearable that god is forever fooling me.. Giving me a gift at the wrong timing..

Few months ago when i decided to focus on my makeup, he bestowed me with Baby Beryl..When i decided to give my focus to my only daugther Baby Beryl, he seem to have bestowed me with another beautiful yet confusing gift....

I should be feeling happy ,  eagerly confirming and sharing the news of my gift.. However i do not have the feeling of doing so... In fact i am thinking if god will be good to me , let my thought of gift be untrue...

I just feel so sucky right now .. i jus feel so terrible...
Is it my life to be sucky since the day i am born into this world. 这是我的命吗?