36th weeks ..

Beryl is turning 16th months.. Just manage to hug her to sleep with my big tummy .. a growing up baby starting to be more difficult to handle especially to me at this period of time...

I am feeling mentally drained and aching all over..
Worried that carrying beryl will affect Jasper movement in my tummy.. however being unable to make my darling beryl to sleep in my arm is also another sad thing to me.. feeling bad in heart that this little darling is not getting the full love and attention from neither me nor her injured daddy.

Little Daddy ger is not getting her daddy carrying around and playing, running with her momentsss..
As time pass she get older each day and thats mean she will not get the moment of joy and fun at that moment of time..

Feeling bad in heart, is making me mentally breakdown soon.. having difficulties in getting up and down bed makes me aching all over and losing patience with my darling princess Beryl..

With Daddy's prolong leg injury, i am feeling really tired. physically and mentally tired!!!

Unable to depend much on him and having to give more attention to Beryl and getting myself prepared and ready for Jasper arrival is really not an easy tasks.

At this very moment, Jasper is turning and moving inside me.. starting to get nervous as this time is really different from having Beryl. Got to get everything ready myself and worried what and when will Jasper arrive.. Having to worry Jasper will arrived when i am driving halfway and when no help is around..

How am i going to hospital this time round? An unanswerable qns in my heart...

I AM REALLY TIRED PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY!!
ACHING ALL OVER AND YET NO ONE IS ABLE TO MASSAGE ME COMFORTABLY!!