Times fly... Jasper is 15 months old now...  Beryl is 31 months old...

Wowww... It had been a tiring and shag periods for me... Having to cope with taking care of my 2 baobei and going to work counting down to 6pm to rush home for my next shift.

Didi Jasper grown up from a cranky little boy to a greedy little boy. Started his first steps when he turns 10 months 1 week, a big milestones marked. He is just like his daddy, finding food every minutes and mumbling "mum mum mum mum" non stop.

JieJie Beryl in the other hand is so picky on the food variety that she eat and was still not good in chewing and swallowing her food. As she start to grow up, the mischievous and naughty part of her start to appear. Not listening, throwing temper and showing "xiao jie pi qi".

Everyday i had to wake up to rush myself for a quick and fast wash up and makeup. Getting the kids showered before i proceed off for my work. Every evening when the clock is getting near to 6pm, i will be rushing to clear my work in office and counting down to rush home for my next shift work.
Feeding, showering and looking after the prince & princess,

As time pass, i am getting tired with whole body aching daily and every moment. Not suppose to expect my mum to help me too much as she is catching up with her age and health as well. However without her help to takecare Didi.. I am really going to fall apart.. Every moment of me seems to be fainting on the ground any moment any second.

Hoping that the daddy will help see them in the correct way is also so difficult. With his way and attitude of taking care had caused Jiejie to become more and more difficult to handle as she grows. Knowing that crying and throwing temper will enable his daddy to give in to her is what had caused her to be naughty and not listening to instruction.

The only part i am sorry to them is not having the energy to teach them their studies myself. I seem to have not much time available for me to sit down patiently and guide them on all the books and writing.

Thought of placing Beryl in childcare however the thoughts of leaving her there and napping on the floor hot and sweaty is something which is holding me back.

As time pass, Didi is growing up very fast as well as Jiejie. And i am really getting drained daily that i really do not have the energy to teach them.

Sometime i do wish i will just faint on the spot so that the Daddy will realise how tired and shag physically and mentally i am.

Getting his help to takecare and teaching the kids seem so difficult. He will only nag at needing to do extra work to earn extra  money but none of this is benefiting me. To him he is working hard for the family but to me nothing is for me.. the money is earn to spent on his 2 precious milk and necessity but not mine. As time pass, i felt like giving up everything, a moment of regrets hit me sometime making me wonder if i should had gone thru all this from the start.

Although my 2 precious is the best present to me. But the tiredness physically and mentally in me is not getting me anywhere.

I AM REALLY TIRED.. I WISH TO SLEEP THRU THE NIGHT TILL NOON.. LAZE ON THE BED AND WAKEUP DRESS UP FOR SHOPPING AND FOODS.

But all this is only a dream to me for now.